If I may ask, how do you see yourself in terms of being connected to your culture? Have you ever experienced that 'awakening' (if you found that awkward, forgive me!) that saw you leaning more onto your roots? Is it a regular thing or is it just me who is going through it?
Ever since I attended the live performance of 'Ngaahika Ngenda', I don't think I have been the same. After that wonderful event, all I wanted was to write what I learnt from the play but I couldn't find enough words. Literally. It seemed to only amount to sentences; I needed them to be blog posts. As time passed, I seemed to have ruminated over what I learned and how I felt and today, I feel ready to write about it (despite it only being a medium-sized paragraph in my notes).
What is this 'Ngugi Effect'?
The ✨Ngugi Effect✨ is a term I coined to depict how 'Ngaahika Ngeenda' affected me. I could not eat, I could not sleep😫...
I'm joking😂. Simply, his play started a whole other school of thought about colonialism that I had never had before. A few of my primary school teachers and one teacher in high school had that kind of mindset and I didn't give them any time of day.
I used to think that they should just "get over it".
Here's what I have been up to in terms of getting closer to my culture.
1. Embracing my natural hair
As you might know or not know, I have had locs for almost two years now. I wrote about my feelings about choosing that hairstyle, and I haven't made an update on how I feel today. Simply put, it is a love-hate relationship.
Apart from desiring change, I started my loc journey upon the awareness of living in an anti-black world. It was a move I made to get rid of Eurocentric beauty standards that I had internalized. I still feel like it was a bold move because it seems like a big middle finger, you know?
Anyway, Ngugi helped me remember the Mau Mau movement that was present in Kenyan colonial times. The fighters had their hair in locs for the reasons of, surprise surprise, rebellion against the white colonialists and it was a sign of self-acceptance and self-love. Other than having familial ties to some fighters (fun fact!), I am proud to share that with them.
Although it does get hard to love my hair sometimes, for instance, not being able to tap into certain aesthetics freely, I just try to make them work for me. I love the Clean Girl aesthetic trend but my hair steals the show 100% of the time. My locs are also thick and too short to style as a sleek bun. However, I came to appreciate that it is such things that make my living experience unique.
2. Buying African Literature
In a previous blog post, I recall claiming that I could never buy brand new books from bookshops when there's the option of buying second-hand books at dirt cheap prices. Am I retracting my previous statement? I could be.
I understand my state at that time: a broke university student trying to sustain a beloved hobby. Not much has changed still then. I'm still a broke student with the same desire but with an elevated way of thinking. Even though most books are way beyond my disposable income, I can save up for them.
The price range for African literature in leading bookshops is about Ksh 1,000 to Ksh 2,500.
*sigh*
That isn't too bad if one has a regular income stream. I don't.
Well, I tend to put it out there that one can gift me African literature for special occasions in case anyone is wondering. All jokes aside, I am willing to set aside some money to buy myself books from local authors because it is good to support local art.
My first purchase was a book by, you guessed it, Ngugi wa Thiong'o titled 'The River Between'. Yes, I am aware that it was a set book. I've been reading it for months now because life (and boredom) happens😂. What is on your reading list?
3. Sharpening my knowledge of the local dialect
Two fun facts about me in one blog post? Aren't you lucky!
I come from two tribes and tend to identify as both, but I normally lean on my father's tribe because of the cultural aspect of identifying as one's father's tribe, and my being born and raised in "the motherland" of that particular tribe. Despite that, I am not fluent in any of the two languages. I try, but I'm not as good at them as I am at Swahili or English. I am sometimes ashamed of being great at the latter without having mastery of my mother tongues.
How exactly have I been trying to learn more? Sometimes, I tune into vernacular radio stations and listen to see what I can grasp. Having the matatus I board on my way to school also tune in helps me a lot, too.
Another option that would help me out would be moving into a town that is predominantly comprised of people who speak the same language so that I can learn faster. However, that is a move I'm not sure about since I'm more of a city girl and I love city life💅🏾.
4. Learning more about African history
I took Geography because, no offence, I didn't want to learn (leave alone cram) the white man's history. I peeped at the textbooks and it was a no for me. However, I recognize the fragments of local history in the subject and it is somewhat a flex to have taken the subject in high school.
Of late, I find that I hadn't made a bad choice after all. With the internet at my fingertips, I have been able to give myself refresher courses on the local history of my country and the continent at large. However, the only issue would be watching with discretion to not consume inaccurate content. In other words, I have to do the research myself first.
It's quite demanding in my opinion, but it is worth it.
5. Adding some 'Afro-fusion' to my outfits
Dressing up is a favourite hobby of mine nowadays. It's not just about "not being naked in public" for me anymore. An obvious truth would be that my wardrobe is 98% Eurocentric. It used to be 100% but I have been making great progress albeit it is small.
This semester, I started using my mother's beautiful woven black and white kiondo as an alternative to my backpack. It was a scary move because:
'kiondos', especially the ones made of plastic, are normally used by grannies, and
my school environment isn't full of people who "get it".
To say it was hard is quite an understatement. I heard some mean girl (👹!) laugh at me on the first day. Nonetheless, one must decide whose opinion matters to them. I wore it twice that week and became comfortable with using it even outside school.
I do have some Maasai jewellery that I do not wear (apart from my choker) because I feel like they age me. When I grow a bit older, I'll incorporate them more into my outfits.
I have been playing around with the idea of buying kitenge material and having a tailor custom make some wardrobe pieces for me. I just might, it is surprisingly more affordable than getting ready-made pieces. That's a tip from me😊.
In conclusion...
Watching Ngugi's play reminded me that I have a way of life that existed before taking up 'modern' ways of living and that it wasn't bad or wrong. Even if I cannot or do not wish to tap into it fully, there's nothing wrong with letting it shine through, even in small ways.
Having a culture is such a blessing and a flex. I cannot fathom living otherwise❤.