Where should I start? Stating the lessons this early will give away my story, and you have to stick around and listen to me:). It is still fresh, and being the INFJ I am, I have been thinking about it (a lot), FEELING it and sharing it with my closest people about it.
I needed a little bit of reassurance here and there.
It did not mean that I was unsure of myself. I only needed to feel right. I stood up for myself (kind of). It doesn't matter because doing what I did was a form of standing up for myself.
I congratulate myself on that.
Depending on where you're from, this may be different. As a child, I have had ideal scenarios (or rather, how things should be) of how university life would be like or life in general. I drew inspiration from Western movies about them. High school was nothing like I thought it would be, but it was fun and worthwhile.
University? Well, I might be labelled a dreamer in such a nation because my expectations are never met. Is this the price to pay for picking a local university? Because, seriously?
Living in a third world country with most people lacking integrity and morals, there is little or nothing to expect. I think that was the legit lesson number one in college.
For as long as I can remember, I have been timid around strangers and people I am not familiar with. I became aware of my personality type in high school, and that eased the journey for me.
I am mighty on the inside, but I come off as soft. I don't know how else to describe myself. If you can conjure up a picture of what kind of person I was, you know that I am most prone to getting taken advantage of since I believe in helping people and seeing the goodness in others.
Views do change; I think that people can be *ssholes. Back to my expectations. Making it to university usually means you are book smart, but I came to learn that it does not necessarily mean that you are cultured or mature. You must wonder how long it took me to get that, I know.
Another lesson is that people are always going to be different from how they are supposed to be. Some people won't do what they ought to do.
Having to get involved with a group to do an assignment was what I thought would be a chance to get to know people. I wasn't wrong, but the different kinds of people I have met are not the kind of people I would like to even call friends. "Friend" is a strong term to use on anybody.
We can't be friends because of the distinctions between us, not that I am better than anyone (never), just that my standards, I acknowledge, are quite high. I realized that even the "lowest" of standards could be very difficult for most people to attain. I mean, how hard is it to be ethical?
It seems pretty hard, from the looks of things.
I found myself in a position of being the one to compile the discussions and write a paper for submission. I convinced myself that it was a challenge, and I would grow after I tackled it. I did, your girl can add citations to research papers now:).
However, the unattached bit to it was doing EVERYTHING, while some people didn't even do ANYTHING.
I believe that everyone should take part in doing group work since the result is shared.
Life, how much more are you going to show me? I also learnt that there are people who will almost always take advantage of situations when they work in their favour.
No matter what you can do, don't just do it because you can. If you have to do it, let it come with a cost that makes it worthy for you to work your magic on it.
In my case, had I known what my group mates were like, I would have gladly not have agreed to that position. That was cheap labour, but at least I'll get a passing grade. Plus, my research writing skills are now polished! (But seriously, the hype isn't helping, lol).
I'm at the part where I defied my timid self and did the unthinkable.*dun, dun, dun!*
I intentionally did not participate in any form of research or contribution to the final bit of work.
It might seem small as compared to confronting the whole bunch, but it was relevant. They ended up doing an okay job (I know what I said, I just wasn't satisfied with what they did, but I acknowledge their effort).
I know I'm being unnecessarily nice to people who don't deserve it, but I am who I am at the end of it all. I will always give credit where it's due, and be human. I can't help it, but I also like being myself.
The lesson here is that I should just harden up so that things don't get to me easily. Another thing is that I should accept people for who they are, and what they show me they are. I will never expect anything great from these people, but it's fine as it saves me the heartache of disappointment.
My most important lesson of all is that people will treat you how you allow them to treat you. By refusing to do the last bit of work on my own, it should be saying that I am not willing to be used just because I can do something, and just because I am about it.
I already know that I might not be liked at all, but it does not scare me at all. Someone I admire very much was in such a situation at some point, and it made perfect sense to accept not being liked for being yourself, rather than being liked for being what you are not. That is fine.
For life-changing lessons, this was a good start. I'm glad it happened to me.
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