By mere observation of how you walk, how you carry yourself and even the people you surround yourself with, I can conjure up a rough picture of who you truly are.
A bonus tip would be through how you dress.
One of the primary agents of socialization is the family unit. Most people were dressed up in "gender-specific" clothing when they were younger. You might have sported a pretty pink or blue clothing set when you were born just to let people know that you were either a girl or a boy.
Quick pointer: In the case of intersex babies, some parents assign their babies' sex at birth, which is open to change in the case of the child deciding what sex they'd like to ascribe to when they are old enough (hence the aspect of gender with their assigned sex). Alternatively, they are raised as non-binary until puberty (or after medical consultation) when a decision can or will not willingly be made in terms of choosing their sex.
Over time, you might have been taught that girls wear dresses and cute ballet flats and boys simply wear pants and shirts, and you might have adopted that based on your gender.
As we gradually grew up, we got more and more involved in clothes shopping and styling our outfits. I particularly remember getting my styling inspiration from the Nickelodeon shows back then, mostly from 'iCarly' since 'Victorious' was a little too mature for me at the time. Thank God I didn't grow up around Disney. I cannot imagine slapping a fedora and necktie on absolutely any outfit, lol.
But, here we are now.
Other than serving the purposes of shielding our nakedness, keeping us warm and acting as a protective barrier, our clothes show a glimpse of who we are and they make some sort of communication to others, whether we are aware of it or not.
Clothing and Personal Style
An Instagram buddy asked me how to create a personal style and thus, this blog post was born.
It was flattering, to say the least. I'm not sure he thinks that I am a fashionista, but I'd like to believe that.
Personal style is the distinct manner in which an individual expresses themselves through clothing.
At first, I found that question to be rather head-scratching since no one has ever asked me that before. I wasn't sure if I had a distinct personal style myself. However, I appreciated the question since it gave me a chance to think deeper about what is part of my daily mundane: choosing what to wear.
What affects personal style?
⦁ Our desire for acceptance by others
Right after physiological needs and safety, love and belongingness follow as per Abraham Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
His theory is one of many that seek to home into what motivates humans. The desire to belong is fulfilled by joining groups that we admire and wish to be part of.
One may adopt a certain style to fit with a group that one likes, or one might simply dress to the nines to attract a potential mate. We all know that the world is pretty shallow because one is judged based on how they present themselves. Here's one study to prove it.
⦁ Availability of certain kinds of clothing
This is as clear as day - one will only shop what is available to them.
⦁ One's personality (likes and dislikes)
You might not have been a fan of those knitted sweaters (with the cat embroidery on the back) back in the day. At least you don't have to wear them now.
With the exemption of occasions when you have to be dressed a certain way that you might not be crazy about, I believe that you don't own anything you wouldn't voluntarily wear.
⦁ Society (trends)
Although this may not be the case for everyone, one's style may be influenced by fads and trends.
⦁ Finances
The amount, variety and quality of the clothes that you own are directly linked to your finances.
⦁ One's lifestyle
What you are up to in your day-to-day life will influence what you have in your closet and subsequently, how you style your outfits.
How to Create a Personal Style
Since the question was directed at me, I did some thinking and could identify the steps in how I built my wardrobe, from thrifting to styling.
1. Be self-aware.
Even though I recommended this, I should mention that I am also on the journey of self-awareness.
Over time, I have identified my morals and principles, and my likes and dislikes. That, coupled with the knowledge that I will be addressed based on how I am dressed, has guided me in shopping for clothes.
Dressing in clothes that one likes is pretty amazing. Not only do you feel good about yourself but you also look confident. Stick to what tickles your fancy. Additionally, certain qualities can be expressed through clothing. I attribute the quality of boldness to being daring enough to rock unconventional pieces as part of one's day-to-day look.
I like this tip because you may find that your crowd will gravitate towards you (and vice versa) in one way or another since you communicate so much through presentation.
2. Explore different aesthetics.
If you're active on social media, the term 'aesthetics' is nothing new to you. Philosophically speaking, it simply refers to the study of or the appreciation of beauty.
Pinterest is the best platform to learn more about different aesthetics. You can find helpful mood boards to give you a rough idea of what an aesthetic is all about.
If you followed through with step one, you're going to do pretty well on this step. An aesthetic cannot be forced - it will look fake if you fail to embody some innate qualities tied to each individual one.
Let's take an example of myself. You may not know what I look like (I did that on purpose) but through my writing voice, you have had a feel of my personality. We can all agree that I absolutely cannot embody the 'Baddie' aesthetic. However, you can see me perfectly embodying Cottage-Core, the Soft Girl aesthetic or something along those lines.
One doesn't have to dedicate their life to fully embody their chosen aesthetic just because and also since aesthetics can be problematic. I know I don't. I dabble in what resonates with me and what looks cute on me.
3. Honour your lifestyle.
How's your day-to-day look like? What activities do you tend to be engaged in? Need to follow a dress code?
I'm a full-time student who lives in a different town from my school. My styling challenge is to commute comfortably, not get dress-coded and still look cute while doing it. So, I tend to wear low-soled shoes and a pair of jeans most of the time. That being said, I try to have a wide array of different styles of jeans, tops and shoes so that I can style them creatively.
However, you won't spot me outside school looking like that. God knows the opportunities I actively seek out just to wear crop tops!
Don't force fashion - just obey your lifestyle.
4. Be smart with your money.
Your money, your rules. Despite that, I believe one should buy what their earnings allow.
One thing about me is that I dislike boutique clothes. They are really cute nowadays, I admit. However, I cannot imagine how many people I could be sharing an outfit with. Also, I wonder how people get the strength to wear fake designer with everybody knows that it's fake. I'd rather be seen in a WCB Wasafi hoodie and a Kanyaga pair of jeans than be seen in Abibbass, Balenciaaga or Air Jorbans.
Despite all that, I am well aware that thrifting is what I can afford at the moment. But, I try to make it work.
My point is that it is easier to maintain what you can afford. Although I understand making certain purchases in pricy stores here and there, I wouldn't want anyone to assume that that's the only place you can get nice clothes.
In conclusion...
I hope that my four tips were helpful to you, Roy, and everyone else reading. If you would like to share more tips on how to find one's personal style, you can DM me and I will share that on my story.
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