It is safe to call myself a boss babe💋. I can't help but chuckle at the sentence I have chosen to introduce this blog post but, it is what it is😇.
Owing to the new normal of the level I have unlocked in my life, I started consuming the type of content that encourage women to do more and be more. You could say that I have been hyping myself and that is acceptable because, why not💁🏾♀️? The algorithm has picked up on what I consume most nowadays - my explore page never lacks something to do with black girl luxury or women living "empowered lives".
You could say that I have come to embrace the girl boss trend because it is appealing. When I was a young girl, I did not have access to the internet as I do now. All I knew was that just like my parents and everybody else, I would pursue higher education and look to get employed afterwards. Thanks to the exposure that has shown me alternative ways to live my life, backed up by my brief taste of employment in Nairobi, employment might not be it for me🙁. Although toxic to some extent, I also believe that the girl boss trend can do a lot of good to people my age. Although I am not against the concept of employment, it can help students like me shed off the I-want-to-be-employed-after-graduating mentality🧠.
Despite learning about the toxicity of the girl boss trend (and the fact that it does not accommodate me since I am a black woman👩🏾), I still see the good side of it. Akin to the 'that girl' and 'black girl luxury' trends, it all depends on how one takes it. The message I choose to take from these highly criticized trends would be to push on and do whatever I want to do, develop a healthy lifestyle and create a life of my dreams all while realizing that I am not a robot and need to rest while giving myself the grace to be unproductive and feel no guilt about it. So, do take things with a pinch of salt when using these terms to describe myself, will you😉?
Two weeks ago, I did a blog post sharing some tips on how to better handle one's finances as a student in university (read it here). This week's blog post was aligned with my current situation that has to do with balancing school and work, something I would like to call boss babe problems💅🏾.
1. Workaholism and burnout😩
Working with my last client was such a wonderful experience - they were nice, let me exercise creative control over the projects and paid me well. I also love what I do and the line between work and hobby can be a little blurry for me sometimes. Since it was a project dependent on how much I could do, it was a steady income stream. Receiving M-Pesa messages of x amounts of money being deposited to my account made me feel really good. Having my mom and sister call me a boss lady was it for me🤩, so I kept working.
I knew that I had a problem when I couldn't relax during a family trip we took after I finished my exams since I was so used to being productive at all times. After the trip, I did one more project and my contract was terminated. It was no secret that I had been struggling to clean our shoes for a couple of weeks alongside other household chores (my neighbours could see them piled in a bucket on our balcony😅) but I was lucky enough to be given that grace needed by my family. I intentionally stopped looking for more clients to work with to declutter my mind. It worked - I cleaned the shoes last week and I am free of job burnout❤.
You know what they say: too much of something could be poisonous. I partially attribute my workaholism to caving to the unnecessary pressure to be accomplished at a certain age, preferably a young age. My beloved Girl Boss trend is out to kill me, I guess. Nonetheless, it has taught me to do things in moderation and take one step at a time.
2. Dealing with off-peak season😓
Freelance is one industry that operates in seasons - one might have a whole line-up of clients to work with during one season, whereas there are times one may have no clients and subsequently no projects to work on. Currently, I am in that season although I have not been actively seeking clients to work with. Understanding that there are seasons to what I do makes it easier for me.
One way to cope with such a time would be to save for such days, what we call rainy days. Since I am not independent, this means nothing to me - it only means that I have less money to buy myself anything I would like. That shouldn't hurt too much (I think!). It only communicates the fact that I am only going to miss out on luxuries, something I most definitely can do without. It is for this reason that I constantly remind myself that it is okay to be comfortable living off my fare savings, or in other words, relying on my parents for the essentials (food, shelter, education). No one has told me to move out yet and I should embrace living in parental care even if I fail to afford the luxuries I want for myself sometimes.
Of course, it is a privilege to have parents still catering for your needs after completing high school. Utilize that privilege even when things don't work out for you. It is only but a season.
3. A distraction from school😬
From my point of view, there is a tendency for *some* guys to stop attending classes after venturing into business. Maybe it is the thrill of finally acting out their role as providers😅? Okay..?😂 However, I will mention that there could be the possibility of some having to cater for their needs whilst being enrolled in school. Or having the pressure of having to fund their girlfriends. Sorry🤣.
Whichever the case, I can relate to wanting to pause school for a hot minute🤑. I'm only human! I appreciate the freedom money brings to my table💯. Having a taste of that makes it hard to not want to sustain that newfound freedom (for me, at least).
I'm smart and all (as you can already tell, I mean💅🏾) but I give the credit to my mum for keeping me in school. She's tough - I could never think of dropping out just to chase the paper! Despite that, she's always been keen to guide and advise my sibling and me in everything we do; I am because she is. So, I can't sit back and judge because I have a good parent who is concerned with my life and therefore helping me make the right choices.
One rule I think is relevant is to never fumble the bag. I'm not sure if most people think of higher education as an investment. The fact that an extra year in the advancement of one's education increases one's income by 10% whilst boosting the gross national product of a country by 18% blows my mind (Brandt & Luthi, 2015). Advancement in education also matters, especially for women and girls.
Always finish what you start. Staying in school is still securing the 💰.
4. The fear of being "too independent"💋
Independent, in this context, means that I need not be reliant on a man for anything unless they happen to be my life partner in matrimony.
My mother raised me to become an independent woman just like her and my female lecturers are always advocating for the same. When I was around eight years old, that Miss Independent song was released and it did play a role in shaping me into the person I am today. I liked imagining Ne-Yo paying an ode to me for being that kind of lady🥵 and so, I became one (sort of)😁.
There is nothing wrong with being an independent woman. However, I can attest to the fact that I am afraid of unknowingly and unwillingly pushing potential mates away because I might fail to let a man do anything for me (note that I do not mean that I am afraid of being alone). That Benjamin Zulu guy got to me - I don't even watch the seven o'clock news on Saturdays anymore💀. I don't want to go deep into that but over time, I have come to learn that I can still aspire to be an independent woman and have a healthy love life when I want to. Despite the term 'independent woman' being tainted in the eyes of society, there is no crime in being one; as long as I can ask for help and be open to receiving it, it is okay.
5. Dealing with problematic clients🙄
Well, this issue cuts across every person who interacts with people in the line of work.
I have only had one bad client and handling them was quite draining. It was a wake-up call for me to get out of my utopian fantasy of what working for myself would be like. It turns out that conflict does exist everywhere. I do not have much to say about this but I believe that having a good head on your shoulders and a bit of training in conflict and conflict resolution helps. Being a social worker in training who has already been trained in conflict management and resolution forces me to be the bigger person in the conflict while also guiding me into taking steps that will help alleviate the situation.
A bonus tip that I consider golden would be to always be professional and aware of the terms of service that come with the contract you enter with any client. From my personal experience, I tend to see that some people are ready to exploit those who appear young as they assume that they are not enlightened. Just as I mentioned in another previous post, knowledge is power💪🏾.
And that, dear readers, are the top issues I face when trying to be a ✨boss lady✨. It might be cringe-worthy reading that but I have decided not to care😂. It's just the thorns that come with the rose🌹. If I can do it, you can do it, too. Can you relate to any problems listed here? What would you add to this list? You could drop a comment down below.
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References
Brandt, Y., & Luthi, E. (2015, January 22). Education: the most powerful investment in our future. UNICEF Connect. Retrieved May 22, 2022, from https://blogs.unicef.org/blog/education-the-most-powerful-investment-in-our-future/